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So it looks like I was wrong about the new motor having a blown head gasket. It looks like through a series of almost unbelievable coincidences, I actually just had THREE bad #4 spark plug wires, and the exhaust will still full of dried-on coolant from the original motor that legitimately DID have a blown head gasket. The plug wire caused the misfire, and the dried on coolant billowing from the exhaust made me obviously think “This thing is burning coolant, must have a blown head gasket”. It looks like I was wrong.
I’m going to cautiously go about fixing things on the car while I slowly build up to about 500 gentle miles on it to break the clutch in, then I’ll drive it like I stole it for a bit to make sure it’s going to hold up, then it’s time for boost.
Here’s a video of me saying the same thing with words instead of letters on a screen.